A Robin's Egg

Recently, on my runs down River Forest Road, I have been visited by a full moon bellied robin. She comes to me and bathes herself twirling in water, refreshing herself, completely immersed in the joy of her motherhood. She smiles at me and beckons me to stop and watch her. She whispers to me that she might like to rest upon my lap awhile while she unfolds the story of her life. I sit and listen with my heart open wide. I thank her for the joy she brings me and I move on with my day as a ever-so-slightly changed person.

This morning I was greeted with a robin's egg at my door step. At first it made me horribly sad to think that this egg had fallen from it's mother's warm embrace only to reach its demise harshly at my feet. I asked my guides about it's meaning, they replied, "don't put all your eggs in one basket." As I further searched for it's symbolic meaning I learned that the robin is symbolic of the sun, new beginnings, joy, hope and clarity. The robin lays eggs several times a year, laying about 3-5 eggs each time but not all eggs will develop into baby robins. When the mother sees that there is an empty egg she tosses it out of her nest so that the rest can thrive. The beautiful blue and brown speckled discarded egg reminds me to take inventory of what is working in my life and what is not. A reminder that hope for a new beginning and clarity is there for me when I've discarded old thought patterns that hinder my soul growth. I can toss out the empty eggs that no longer have promise of life and keep only what is thriving in my basket.  The robin lets go of a dream that no longer serves her and allows other dreams to take form, flourish and fly. 

I dream of being that mother robin, although that blue egg was beautiful there was no life and therefore no reason to hold on to the past that serves me not. 

Somtimes I'm a Fiver-Year-Old Little Girl

My ego is like a five-year-old little girl. At times, certainly recently, it has been throwing tantrums, some serious ones at that. My higher self is the mother of that five-year-old, who tries to calm my little girl ego into understanding that everything will be fine if only I would stop doubting and let go of trying to control every detail of my life.

  

The mother beckons me to stop and listen for a little while and not get so caught up in my fear of lack, a fear that the life I dream of will pass me by. The mother consoles me by reminding me that everything has its divine reason and timing and will surely lead me closer to fulfilling my life’s purpose.

But fear is powerful and the little girl sometimes gets carried away. The more the mother tries to soothe her, the louder she screams and the harder she kicks. So the mother decides that a time-out is appropriate for the little girl, a vibration tune up if you will. The mother tries to bring her daughter back into divine alignment and in order to do that, the little girl must be sent “up” to her room to reflect on and contemplate what she knows to be true.

The mother suggests that it’s time to go “upstairs” and the little girl spirals out of control screaming even louder and latching on to the door way intensely. The mother isn’t able to pull her “up”. The harder the mother pulls the more her daughter rebels. Realizing this will not work, the mother decides to sit and wait out the storm.

Sitting next to her daughter the mother simply begins to rub her daughter’s back in soothing small circles. The little girl on the floor is in a heap, sobbing. She doesn’t want to go upstairs again, for the millionth time. She doesn’t want to let go of her belief that God has forgotten her or that God won’t remember the dreams she has for herself. The little girl feels like a victim, abandoned by God. “No body cares about me. If they did they would give me what I want…RIGHT NOW.” The mother whispers in her ear, “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” But the little girl can’t hear anything over her self-loathing. She weeps for herself.

Whimpering the little girl sniffles and wipes her nose on her mother’s sleeve and then something magical happens; as if the little girl is sitting on top of a very tall and slippery slide, she pushes herself off. In a free fall she releases into the feeling of acceptance of exactly where she is on her journey. As she descends from the top, her spirit rises inside of her and she begins to see clearly. All the kicking and screaming seems silly now, she feels embarrassed and humbled. Her tear-drenched face is swollen and she recognizes that her mother never left her side.

The mother is a witness for her daughter’s purging and realizes that what her daughter needed was not to be yanked up but to be let down. She needed to sit with her daughter, exactly where she was and listen, allowing her fears to be voiced and released. She needed to go down the slide with her daughter not up the stairs.

The little girl is exhausted from fighting herself and curls up in her mother’s lap. Her mother softly sings her a lullaby and a sweet prayer to God for grace and finally, finally, peace of mind.

A Singing Cleaning Woman by Hafiz

A Leaf says,

"Sweethearts-don't pick me

For I am busy doing 

God's Work.

I'm lowering my veins and roots 

Like ropes with buckets tied to them

Into the earth's deep lake. 

I am drawing water that I offer

like a rose to the sky. 

I am a singing cleaning woman

Dusting all the shelves in the air.

With my elegant green rags.

I have a heart.

I can know happiness

like you." 

I AM affirmation Video

The Sun Never Says

Even after all this time

The sun never says to the earth,

"You Owe Me."

Look what happens with a 

Love like that,

It lights the whole sky.

-Hafiz

"Better Than" by The John Butler Trio - Makes Me Happy

Let it Shine

When you think you’ve lost everything, it’s there you find it all. I lost my job, my home, my friends and I thought I’d lost God. But the truth of the matter is, is that I was just beginning to understand what and who God is. We are all beings of light for which this whole world desires to be. We are the shining love of Christ’s hands, the open space of Buddha’s heart. We’ve been sent to help those who can’t see the forest for the trees, to comfort, to illuminate and show the way home.

How we react to life’s challenges can be a shining example for others. It informs those who are on the sidelines of our lives, where we are in the midst of our story.

-Our response to the challenge IS the teacher.-

Being conscious of our reactions will mirror our hold on the material world; our tight grasp on that which is of no importance and must be released to be free of fear.

Everything in this world is momentary and all material falls away. I have been reminded of this once again through the recent death of my grandfather. He worked hard and attained much. Took brave steps toward a future that brought me to the place in which I stand. He carved out a corner to live and filled his home with items that made him comfortable. But all of those belongings and ideas of how the world should be are now reduced to the two most important possessions that will never fade, his love for his family and his faith in God.

As I watched my grandfather being laid to rest, I had a paradoxical experience in that I felt peace all around him as I shuddered with grief and fear. There was a moment of complete surrender to my emotions when I first laid eyes on his lifeless body. I cannot explain the pain I felt with my loss of him in my physical life. I was scared to see him, hysterical at best. But even in the throws of sorrow and panic I had the clarity of his tranquil spirit. He’d taken me in his arms and in his embrace I knew for sure there is a God. He was free from his body, his illness could no longer restrain him and his ego could no longer separate him from his Creator. I stood there with the strength of my family, looking on to my grandfather repeating the words, “I love you, I love you, I love you, Thank you, Thank you.” With that I said goodbye to his human form.

It’s said that the empty space, the silence, between the notes is what makes the music, with out the silence we hear only a single note, aaaaaaaaaaa. It’s the opening within the clay vase that makes it so. With out the exposed cavern it is only a clay mass. We are that vase and love resides in the open room of our hearts. Our body is a temporary dwelling for our soul; we’re spiritual beings having a human experience. Looking into each other’s eyes, long and deep, we’ll see the warm illumination of a soul; there a radiant light is left on to help guide each other home. God beckons us to let our light shine. I asked, “How may I serve?” and the Divine answered with LOVE, pure, naked, “LOVE”.